I won’t say grand things like, “If I give my best, I’ll accomplish everything.” But by trying my best, I give myself a fighting chance to HAVE SOMETHING rather than giving up and attesting to the fact that I was born NOTHING and will end up as NOTHING.
Senses tingling with sweat as cold as ice and a little bit tachycardic is how I would describe myself right about now.
I finally clicked the much anticipated “Publish” button on Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing and am still waiting for their notification that’ll say that my book is ready, live and available on their store. The wait is killing me.
The mixed feelings this experience is giving me is really nauseating. And until this very moment wherein I am writing this blog entry, I’m still not sure if what I did was a good decision but what I am sure of is that this is something I really wanted to do.
Unlike the main character in my book, I am unable to see what lies ahead of me. With that said, there is no other option for me but to charge forward with all my might and hope for the best.
“We do have a lot in common. The same air, the same Earth, the same sky. Maybe if we started to look at what’s the same instead of looking at what’s different… well, who knows?”
As I was watching the first Pokemon movie with my four year-old cousin to help familiarize him with the English language, the line above really hit me.
It was quoted from a character named Meowth, one of the mainstay villains of the show Pokemon. Yes, he is a villain but if ever you’ve watched an episode or two of the long-running anime that started during the year 1997, you’ll more or less know that he’s more of a comic-relief than a serious threat.
The quote itself was deep yet simple enough to be understood by children and heavy enough to be remembered for many years. And as I analyzed the said line, I wondered what will happen if everyone on Earth, especially our leaders, would just learn from this cat and take what he said into heart.
Well, according to Meowth, “Who knows?”, right?
Fear is a very common emotion. Everyone has their own fears and people who say otherwise are either lying or just haven’t come out of the uterus yet.
There are many things a person may be fearful of. As a matter of fact, things to be feared can be anything under the sun. The most harmless existence something is to someone can be the opposite to another.
This year 2013 hasn’t been very good to me. It’s been a constant failure after another in everything I have done so far.
Sometimes I wonder what life will throw at me next. And it dreads me to think that my next failure would be from something I really love.
These past few weeks, to pick up myself from ruins, I finally mustered enough energy and confidence to try and self-publish my very first book, ebook to be precise. I’m still in the final stage of editing and every mistake I notice is another anxiety building up.
I fear for the things yet to come, the results of a venture where I know many failed. But I will push through with every bit of strength I have and invest even more heart than what I’ve given most things in my life so far.
I fear for the things yet to come and I hate myself for it but what I despise more is to see myself stagnant and stay the way I am now.
This is probably make or break for me but no matter what happens, no matter how much I might break after this, I’ll just make and make myself all over again.
After all my failures so far, I haven’t given up in a single one so why give up now?
In Asia, most countries divide the heavens into central, northern, southern, western and eastern mansions. These mansions contain different houses or constellations and are ruled, according to mythology, by 5 heavenly beasts.
In the picture above is the Vermillion Bird of the South, also known as Zhuque in Chinese, Suzaku in Japanese, Jujak in Korean and Chu Tước in Vietnamese. It is the ruler of the southern mansion of stars. It is different from the Phoenix in a way that the Vermillion bird is a spiritual being that watches from the heavens while the latter is assumed to have a physical body that undergoes an endless cycle of rebirth every 100 years.
I decided to draw the Vermillion bird because it embodies the element and will of fire, and knowledge. My midterm exams are scheduled next week so I’ll be needing lots of will and knowledge. Go me!